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ptpgradI am slowly thawing out, so I am attempting to recap what happened this past weekend. I will remember events out of order or forget them entirely. Names and places and other things may go missing or be wrong, but if you can forgive this frozen brain, away we go.
FREEZE ANXIETY
We have all been watching the weather forecast over the last few days and have been getting more and more anxious. While some costumes are warm and you can layer, my fairy is a bit on the thinner side. I have multiple layers I am bringing to keep me warm and a few tricks up my sleeve, if need be. I drop off my costumes, pick up a ticket for a friend, and head over to drop of my props down by the cottage. It’s locked so I leave it outside and let the powers that be there know about it. I head home and am luckily able to get some last minute running around done before I get into bed.
AWWWWWAAKKKKKEEEE
So when I wake up, I layer up as I will have to warm up and stretch outside, and outside is rather cold this am. I have my coat on top of some of my warmer clothing and stop for some warm brekkies as well as my bar. Once on site, I see my breath as I am heading in. I am on stage with Dottore who is dressed in the same stuff he wears every morning…I question his sanity in this weather to yoga in a tshirt and light pants with no shoes. I am guessing you are now too. He plans to shivasana in his tent. Isobel arrives and we warm up vocally together. Soon after she leaves, Woolter arrives. He was took the long way here because of the traffic for the Baltimore race and is running late. My make up is almost done. He continues jumping around to keep warm as I head back to the Costume House.
LAYER ON, LAYER OFF
It’s cold, even inside it’s not really “heated” per se, so it's a chore to figure out the way to change, when to take the pre-corset pee, how many layers on or off, coat or no…etc. I begin to get dressed and layer tights, socks, thermal pantaloons, length leg coverings, and my shoes. Above, I have my undertop and a new addition, handwarmer pads placed in a holder and wrapped on my back, then my regular shirt and cincher. This heat keeps my low back warm and prevents my core from tightening up. I pull another 2 pads for my hands to go into my fingerless gloves. I get winged up outside and take my umbrella up the hill. I stop at Roseworld where the energy is always chaotic and drop off my food for the morning. Then, off to morning meeting.
WARMING UP
We go over the standard notes for the weekend and remind each other to keep drinking warm things and expect crowds and work lines and, well, the normal end of season stuff. We BEEP and head to the gate. The hand warmers are starting to take effect, thank goodness. Sitting on the stone isn’t a great idea, so I put my feet on it and stretch my legs and low back as the cold is going to wreak havoc on muscles in the chill. My back is feeling pretty good though. I chat with an Italian (not me) as we are waiting for the King to arrive. Eventually, the court enters. One of the horses seems to have a bit of an attitude problem and picks a fight with his rider. Rider is not amused. The situation is fixed relatively quickly, the horses take off so the cannon can boom. I am up on the fountain with Knuckles as the gates open and the crowd rolls in.
LAST MINUTE PLANNING
There is a huge crowd and people are pouring in. Many are focused on getting in, but others stop to hug, smile or otherwise amuse themselves as they take in the sites and sounds of this very crowded event. I had been trying to figure out how to just get basic copies of the three shows I directed this year, when one of the regulars who likes to film shows comes wandering by. I grab him and ask him if he would be willing to film the StreetSPEARE’s I had directed since I really don’t get to see them. He generously says he will and I point out the times and places for him. Off he goes and I turn back to the onslaught of attendees. I am also greeted by Lady Leah from many weeks back. She has her sister in tow this time and notes she will see me later. Lastly, I see a VERY tall man I have not seen in YEARS. Cyberkender has arrived from CA with a local friend in tow. CK complains that his friend is not in garb…I berate him in fairy. I chitter at them a bit more, which they only sort of follow, then they head into our little village to explore.
PROGRAMS A GOGO
The first wave has mostly died down, so I grab around 3 stacks of programs and head out. I have no time to sit with the crowds as they are and I am walking the lines and separating them as I hand out programs. Once I am done those stacks, I see the single-day ticket cash line has opened and start asking people how they plan on purchasing and sending them over that way. I head back and get another three stacks of programs as people are flowing in pretty quickly. I walk the lines again with programs and once they are gone, begin to move people to the shorter lines. Most are very happy when I move them. Only one woman makes herself a brick and won’t move, but once I point to where I am going, she finally agrees as the new line is significantly shorter. I am in the direct sun here and starting to get warm. I wonder if all the layers and heating pads were too much.
FALL
And then…I walk inside and hit some shade. Oof, the temperature difference is palpable, intense and downright chilly. I am grateful for my layers. It is very crowded, so while I might wave at a performer or say a quick hello, I am out and about with patrons. Hellos, head rubbing, hand shaking and maybe a wish stone or two for a deserving individuals. I take so long getting in, I don’t really have time for my regular tree, so I just head to the boardwalk to sit and sing a bit. On the way, the author with the fairy books checks out my broken wing and commiserates that I haven’t found anyone to fix it yet. Then, sitting and singing. It’s odd that music isn’t coming to me as easily this year. I have some standbys, but I think I am overthinking. When I let instinct take over, there are melodies that work best and I just let them out. I am posing for pics with gents and ladies passing by or little ones come up to say hello. Soon enough, it’s time to get my fairy show on.
QUIET POWER
I head to my props and fill up the bottles of potion I need for the show. I gather my basket and head out, but there is a bit of a crowd at my exit and it takes me getting a trifle louder to get them to notice me and move. At the stage, again, the kids are playing, but clear quickly. There is one little boy who starts to walk on stage as I begin the show, but I turn him and he keeps walking off the stage almost seamlessly. All of my bears have good roars, but in the middle of the show, they get VERY quiet for their lines. Goldilocks is a gent with a good sense of humor who plays along as mom takes many blackmail pics. Once the show is over, I pack up my props and clear the stage for the kids who are hoping to get back in the house for a little bit.
THE 2 STEP PROGRAM
I head up the hill of doom…and stop. The line is almost down the hill. So I begin to chitter and stop every 4-5 people to compliment their face paint, their clothes, play with them, introduce myself or whatever hits my fancy. Only one or two kids are shy or scared of me. Most are happy to make conversation. At the top of the hills, there is a privy line. I head in and knock on doors, when I don’t hear anything, I open it and wave the next person in. it takes 2-3 minutes, but the line that was starting is gone and I head on farther into the village and lunch. Next, the beer lines. I briefly chitter at a few near the long White Hart line, but they are near the smoking area and I can’t breath much around it. The line near O’Shucks is massive as well, both sides, and I spend a couple minutes there as well. Finally, I grab my lunch and some water and rush out again as I won’t have much time to eat.
THE LAST OF ITS KIND
So each lunch I have had a honey cake, some green vege, baby tomatoes, mixed nuts (sans last weekend), and some fruit. Today is the last of the first batch of honey cakes I made before opening. I had been keeping them in my freezer and defrosting a new couple each weekend. This is the last honey cake. I relish it, quickly. It almost seems more moist than the other cakes I had. Perhaps it had more honey goodness. While eating my meal, I see a friendly face at Blessed Scents who is giving me a countdown of the days till Christmas. It makes me laugh. I am also smiling at patrons. You think when no one is approaching you, you aren’t affecting people, until I catch the eye of three young girls who I realize have been staring at me. I smile and wave and they do too, then scurry off giddy. This is a good thing.
MORE LINES
Lunch is a short affair and I drop off a few nuts and a blackberry, dust out my bowl and head down the road toward the boardwalk. Hilby has a great crowd and it’s hard to get through. Then, more lines. The beer lines are not as long as the turkey leg lines, but they aren’t short. It’s somewhat daunting. I do try to stop by and chitter at a few and make them laugh. It makes the experience less painful if you are having fun during the wait. I find a gent and rub his head. He is surprised and amused. I smile as that is such a fun sensation. Don’t get me wrong, I love hair and prefer it, but if they don’t have much, that length makes me happy to rub. Where fairy and human actor meet.
WOLFING IT DOWN
I have maybe a minute or two to sing before I have to go and change out my umbrella for props. I “uh-oh” my way around the crowd and through the juggling school until I can get to the stage. There is already a good bit of an audience, some because they wanted to be in the house, others for the show. I get them all to sing making sure THEY ALL DO since I need everyone to buy into the experience for it to work. I often make one person sing along if they haven’t been joining in. I see Lady Leah and her sister from his morning standing at the back of the house. They stay for the whole show, for which I am rather touched. The wolf has a good howl, but some of my pigs are distracted. One wants to dance and be her own star in her own show. One kid asks me as I am drinking the last of the potion why I do it if it tastes so bad. I quickly explain it’s the only way I can talk to them before it all goes away again. The house is pretty packed and everyone has a really nice time. But it is time to pack up and head on my way.
MORE LINES A GOGO
I repack my props for the morning and as I am finishing, I hear what sounds like drizzle. I have my umbrella, but as I head up the hill, I see a flood of dejected kids. Turns out with the rain, light as it was, they had to close the slide. That line clear, I head up and hit the beer lines again as I am heading back. I chat with patrons and pose for a few pictures along the way. It takes longer than normal to get back and one of the other actors comments she was wondering where I was as I am normally back changing before this. I know I am now seriously behind the time and start the transition to courtesan. Today is the green and purple outfit. The regular people come in and out as they normally do grabbing more layers and taking cloaks with them over their costumes so they don’t chill when stuck backstage. I am half dressed when I realize I have forgotten under layers and have to add more before I can finish adding the rest of my costuming…the jewelry is painfully cold though. Once on, it begins to warm up, thank goodness. Finally, it’s time to head out toward the Boar’s Head.
CHANGES AND LOGISTICS
I stop and chat with people on the way, but, with the delay, I am concerned about the time and try to make sure I can get to the stage in time not to hold SMKatherine up. I end up there a couple minutes early and start to plug items in in advance of her arrival. When she gets there, she helps me set up my sign and the new magneted 13, but the wind is pretty busy and with enough flicking, it falls off early into the show. I begin to circle around and do my kid check, but notice a number of smokers on this side. I redirect them to the actual smoking area at the far end of the pub. They are all very nice about it. The show before mine runs longer than normal, so I am starting a bit later with my PG warning. and other “pre-show” announcements. There is one group who has decided that they want to watch the show from my back end. I suggest that the view might be better from the front, which the audience agrees to, but they want to be their own show. The show is odd, I find myself switching lyrics and repeating the wrong verse for Three Jolly Coachmen, which I know well. A little kid starts up on the stage and I have to move him out. In the middle of my bit with my client, who is a friend of CK’s, I have a patron walk in front of the stage on his phone and as loud as he can and as drunk as he can, yell into the phone that he can’t hear and where is he now. All of these odd distractions and other time adders make me run over by a couple minutes, which means the act after mine starts playing while I am still singing the end of my last song. My fault for running over, but it doesn’t make it easier. While not a bad show, it was not my favorite for the cluster F reasons.
THANKS AND FAREWELLS
I clear up and there are a few patrons who stop to see me. One lady thanks me for all the years of entertainment. I am confused and say that surely she can come back again. She informs me she is moving to the Caribbean and this is her last day at fest. I am honored that she shared it with me for even a little while. I meet up with a few other patrons and friends and let them know I am off to drop off props and mark off space for a show. I head toward the costume house saying hi to Fud and the others along the way, patrons and vendors, etc. I see SMKatherine staring to get markers and head down the hill to drop off things and get my layers to keep warm as the sun starts to drop. I grab water and head out.
WHEN THE CAMERA IS WATCHING
The gent who has offered his assistance is setting up the cameras based on where the actors are hawking, which is not where they do the show. I move him to the correct spot and SMK moves the block closer to the performance space. This is new for the actors as they have had all the space the wanted before, but this thinner depth helps the audience focus in and hear them. Unfortunately, this throws one of the actors and the first line of the scene is not what Mr. Shakespeare wrote. My thought is “hm, how are they going to get this back on track” followed by “oh, and this is my permanent copy…joy”. They cover it well and unless you knew the scene, you wouldn’t have known there was an issue. It’s always the one on camera or with the boss watching.
DOING IT IN STYLE
Once the scene is done, I say my goodbyes and talk with the gent to see if he can help me get a copy of my other shows for my records. He checks the times and is set. Next, I head farther into the village. I am rather hungry and don’t have my bowl, so I stop at the food booths (which have no lines now) and get a sausage on a stick. I wander about the food court tables and chat with patrons as I eat. I stop at one table with a family all in costume. After chatting, I realize they have never been here before, but the mom had always wanted to and she determined that they had to do it in style, so they were all in costumes she made. I was impressed. The one son wants to try to desperately explain how video games are not sorcery or magic. Hayes wanders by and I ask him to try to translate what this little one is determined to tell me. He starts off well, but when he mentions some kind of sorcery, the kid gets angry and tells us we are wrong, there is no magic, even though his brother, Hayes and I all believe it is. Finally, I say my goodbyes and head down Kenwood.
THERE WAS NOSTALGIA
I stop briefly and stare at the trees for my favorite time of day near the food court. When the sun is near the horizon, the color starts to turn a golden red and hits the trees so they light up. Not all the leaves do this, so you have lines of greens and lines of glowing gold. It’s one of my most favorite views in the entire village. I meet a lady who has been attending the village for longer than I have been performing, but she started around the time I started as a vendor. I mention the first stage show I did, and she remembers it and her face lights up when she realizes it. We talk of Bill, the Pyrates, Tim, Pub Sing, Sept 11, the children of those we knew who are now the new generation (including Ichabod and his sister), and I share my leaves with her. Cindy P wanders by and we all catch up, as Cindy owned PU way back then as well. The chill makes us all wax nostalgic.
AND THEN THERE WAS DRUNK
I realize how late it is and head quickly to the front of the village. The cold has placed a false sense of hydration in everyone and patrons are VERY drunk. I am up on the fountain and we are doing our normal goodbyes when a drunk man drops his cigarette on the ground in the dry hay…and it’s lit. I tell him he needs to step on it and put it out. His reply “Yeah, let the mother F-er Burn!” I ask him if he wants me to call security. He thinks this is funny until Knuckles tells him I am not joking. He gets morose and picks up his cigarette, happily announcing it’s still lit. Duh. Then he starts smoking it and blowing it in our direction (generically, not purposefully). We tell him he needs to put it out as there is no smoking in this part of the village, if he wants to keep smoking, he needs to go outside. He continues to puff it until it’s just about gone, but still lit, and throws it into the trashcan with all the leftover alcohol and again calls to “let the Mother F-er Burn”. He leaves and Knuckles jumps down to throw soda over the butt so the village won’t go up in flames. I really hope that guy got pulled over for being stupid and drunk. I don’t want him hurting anyone else, but I have no happy thoughts for that kinds of rudeness and disregard for our home. My mood is rather soured.
NORMALCY
I hear strains of Wild Mountain Thyme and soon the royal standard, now lit for visibility as it drops, makes its way back to Joan and the cannon booms. The cold makes this a two hands down day and Knuckles kindly assists me. I wish Buena notte to those I pass as I leave the village and head down the hill once more. The costume house is warm with everyone changing. THANK GOODNESS. I lose an earring backing and find it, then drop and pick up more things. My fingers, while cold, are still swollen enough that it’s not easy to get the rings off and I have to get my hand wet outside. BRRRRR. Once changed, I meet up with the gents I had plans with and we head out for cheeseburgers. It’s a quiet dinner with heartfelt conversation and much exhaustion. I am honored to call them friends. And with only 3 of us, dinner is a faster affair. I am home and in bed by 10 pm.
FROZEN
The morning is 32 degrees when I am up, dressed and ready to head to site. I get to my car and it has frost on it. I turn up the defrost to high and run the windshield wipers as I am falling behind schedule. I have water and my bars, so I don’t have to stop on the way. I get to site and see no puppy in the lot, but am not surprised with the temps. I head in and see no Dottore either. I am not surprised given how little he was wearing the day before. You don’t want to do Yoga outside in this kind of cold barefoot. Just no. I do, but I am layered. Others who arrive (Isobel, WScrubby and Woolter) are all jumping about to keep warm and even I am doing yoga stretches more standing and with no arms (hands stay in my pockets). I have to sit to put on my makeup though, so I put what I can below me to keep the chill from the wood from making my life hell. I make up and my hair is decidedly silly. Woolter helps me spray it so it will stay. It stays up longer than most days, but not all day long.
HEATED HELPING HANDS
I get to the costume house and head inside. A musician arrives and asks if anyone has any hand warmers. As a matter of fact I do. She gets some from me and gifts me with a cd as a thank you. Others are partaking of the box (thanks Winchester for pointing them out to me 3 years ago). I place them on my back again today as that made such a difference yesterday. I also get two ready for my hands. As I go to wing up, I notice that my “Good” wing is getting floppy. I can’t do anything about it now, but I figure a way to make it stay up a little better for now. I grab my things and all my layers and head out to rose world. There, I drop off my things and head to Lyric. I speak with the one singer I never got to work with and we have agreed that, sadly, the songs will not happen this season. Morning meeting is brisk, mostly from the temp. We are informed one actor is back out ill and the miracle stand in is ready to help out again. A few more announcements, we BEEP and away we go.
LAST MINUTES I take a moment to “sunbathe” in the maypole area as the warmth of the sun is revitalizing. I realize as I pull out my ringlets that I hadn’t put on my earrings (one backing was missing, so I had waited). I head down the hill quickly to remedy this, then up to use the privy quickly and to the gate as the show is starting. Horses come in and that same one is acting up, but less than the day before, so he is ready to go a bit faster and off they trot, up I go, and BOOM! The day begins.
OVERFLOW OR EVERFLOW
Again, the crowd coming in is big. They are mostly bundled up in their coats, or furs, or other warm items. A few are not covered and I worry for their sanity and their health. All three of us are there, but Johnny is popular, so it takes time before we are able to do a tour. I see faces of friends visiting and little kids and bundled regulars. Eventually, the crowd finishes rushing in and I see lines outside. I grab 3 stacks of programs and hit the lines. It is much the same pattern as yesterday, separate and hand out programs at the same time. Once empty, move people over with cash and manually walk people standing in long lines out of the long ones and into short ones. I go through a total of about 11 stacks of programs by the time I am done. Lines aren’t awful, but they are constant. I have some time to say hello to patrons and one woman keeps asking me what I mean by Pohgam. Oh Program, why didn’t you say so! Yeah lady, that's as much English as you are going to get from me. Everyone else gets it, just play along. Sorry, inner monologue…she didn’t hear any of that. I just looked at her confused.
MOVING INWARD
While the lines are constant they aren’t awful and I am able to head inside just a little after regular time. This means I have some time to chitter and play along my route. I rub a head or two, chitter some and giggle, sunbathe again near O’Shucks, and head over to my tree to sing a little after getting some water. It’s Sunday, so it’s Amazing Grace day. My voice is very forward in my head and when I hit the higher notes, I feel my entire head vibrate like an echo chamber and almost make me dizzy. It’s really kinda cool.
PHOTOSYNTHESIS
Sitting in the shade is chilly so I head down the hill of doom and head toward the boardwalk. The sun has come out, so I stop at the sunny edge of the boardwalk, turn toward it, hold out my arms, close my eyes and soak up the heat. I hear someone comment as I am standing there “She’s a plant, it’s photosynthesis”. This makes me chuckle. I stand there for a good minute or so and as I feel the sun go behind a cloud, I find my bench perch to sing. I have a bunch of people ask for pics. I sing a bit, but I find my brain distracted, it could be the chill. The sun comes back out and I head back to it to warm myself again. I am joined by a cantankerous staff member of Holy Cow who suns himself wearing a Half Moon and doesn’t feel the warm. I do and it makes such a difference. I head over to get my props and take them to the Crooked Cottage.
THE BEARDED MAN
I start with a small crowd and the cameras today. Of course I have a smaller house when I am filming, I think; however, as we begin, more kids come pouring in and by the time we get going, the house is full. Goldilocks is a gent who was in the house from the beginning, and when I ask everyone if they know the story, he looks at me a bit panicked and says he doesn’t. Luckily, the rest of the people assure him they know it and can help, and away we go. He is quite playful and the pigs know their lines pretty well, if a bit quiet. The show ends well with applause for my stars and I clean up as quickly as I can and hand the stage over to the next act. I head back to reset my props for the next show then up the hill of Doom.
STONING THE LINE
There is a long line down the hill again and I begin to chitter and play with them as I walk up. I see a family and one boy doesn’t want to talk to me, but his brother is playful and curious. I get his name and offer him a stone. The first kid wants to have one now and asks, but I apologize that I don’t have another. I can’t afford the time to give one to everyone in line and realized giving the one out was a risk, but the kid had such a good energy about him. I feel badly. Up the hill I go and head through the lines to roseworld. Luckily, the beer and other lines aren’t quite as long, so I do have some time to chitter at a few people along the way. I head backstage and grab my food. I have noticed that my wing is drooping again and flip it forward in hopes it will stay up now. It’s odd to feel it bouncing as I walk.
MUNCHING TO A DIFFERENT DRUMMER
I sit down at the frog pond and begin to eat quickly. I don’t always compartmentalize my food, but I eat all the celery, then all the tomatoes, then the nuts then the…well, you get the picture. I am not even sure why, It just feels right. At the end, there are a few nuts and a blackberry that are gifted to Blessed Scents. I head through HIlby’s crowd to more lines for beer and turkey. I rub a head and make the women behind him laugh, I hug a stranger and place my umbrella over a guys head as he walks for a while not realizing I am following him. I stop and sing a little bit, then head to get my props for the second show.
AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING
So there is a full house again with a few friends off to the side of the stage. I have some great pigs with an adultish (read teen) wolf who really doesn’t seem to want to commit. Pig # 3 was pretty fabulous though and with a little coaching they all know their lines. Actually, pig one is about to say her line when the audience tries to say it for her. I have to shush them so she can have her chance for success on her own, and she does a great job. Pig #2 takes her role very seriously and keeps poking at her box and not paying attention. The wolf gets a little better as we go on and walks herself into the cauldron. Even the Kosher joke works. After the show is over, I pack up and spend a brief moment chatting with a few from the audience, even one or two now costumed who weren’t before. I say my “abadoo”s and head off to reset my props for next week, leaving the potion bottles empty to avoid the floaty monsters. I notice there is not quite enough potion for the next weekend, so I note that I have to pick up more during the week.
UP UP AND AWAY
Up the hill of doom I go, this time chittering again as I move up the line. I get into a long conversation with two young girls who are trying to figure out why I can’t fly and are laughing at my tale of running into a tree. I wander off with them giggling behind me. I head through the village playing and being silly on the way back, saying hello and waiving as I go, stopping or a photo or a photobomb as head back. Once back, I hang up my wings and de-cinch before I head out in the chill to pee. Bleah. Back in and I fix my hair and clean off my face then relayer into the bright blues today. Again, I layer up as best as I can with thermals under the chemise and similar layers under the pantaloons. The heat pads are still holding out and keeping me warm. I donate one of my hand warmers to a lady whose fingers are chilled. There is enough heat for her to thaw a little. Once bedecked and bejeweled, I head out to the Boar’s Head.
FLIRTATION 101
I head across site slowly stopping and chatting on the way. I meet a family, groups of adults, and more. Conversation varies but often doesn’t even mention my show other than to say it is not appropriate for their kids. Once at the stage, I mic up with SMK then hit the crowds. It’s so cold that there really aren’t any kids left. I saw them pouring out as I was heading in. I have a decent crowd with some who planned to come just for my show and others who just like naughty songs. I am having fun and Hamlet ends at 2:27. Not my best time, but still very good. I get a charming client, Randy, who is playful. After the show, the gent helping me out notes that he wasn’t sure how the guy was going to work out, but he was a lot of fun. He comments, I should have known you know what you are doing. I stay a few moments after and am thanked by a group of the attendees who come up to tell me how much fun they had. Another young lady tells me my show reminds her of the fun she had years ago watching the Bawdy Balladeers shows. Very high praise indeed.
SPARKLING CAREFULLY
As I head back, I stop in conversation with 2 brothers and their mother joins us. We begin to speak of jewels and I ask the one gent to hold my box so I can de-glove. Once I show mom what things are, I look back to see the gent has opened the box and is looking through. While I don’t mind someone wanting to see the CD’s, this makes me VERY nervous as I have a credit card scanner and some change in there. Once I take my leave, I stop at a vendor friend and ask him to hold the other things so I can check out the box to make sure nothing is missing.
YES YOU CAN
I head back to the costume house to drop off the box and get some more water and my warmer gloves. I head back up the hill and see JamesB. I let him know that if he stays for another 3 minutes, he will be able to see some Shakespeare that I directed. He and his lady sit and stay along with the daughter that started the conversation. There is a nice little gathering as they start and, well, people watching make more people stop and watch. By the time the scene is done, there is some nice laughter and applause for their efforts. This makes me happy. Afterwards, I am speaking to WScrubby and ask how he is holding up in the cold and realize he is just wearing his thin cotton shirt. I ask him why he hasn’t layered and he tells me it might show. I reply that a white thermal shirt won’t show up and will keep him from freezing. “we can do that?” Sigh, yes, they don’t want you to freeze to death. Now we tell him he complains. I ask him if he’s going to get his cloak after this and he heads off to get warm.
HOOKED
I wander to O’Shucks to chat with patrons at the tables. I meet up with Kevin and his fiancé and their friends celebrating his birthday. I pose for a pic and make them laugh. I move to another group and discover I am now talking to Kevin’s sister, and Kevin appears again. I tell you, this birthday boy is everywhere. I wander to another table and meet a charming lady, Megan, her gent and their friend, Hook/Thing/Mike, whichever name he follows at the time. He is very in his cups, but has his charm. We discover he is better at conversation when I cover my cleavage with my muppet scarf (it looks like I killed Harry). He is trying to explain something to me that I just am not getting. Eventually he wanders away to better prospects.
FOOD KNOWLEDGE
I stay and chat with Megan and the conversation turns to food. It turns out she is gluten free and I share with her what I have learned over the years and I have a few places I direct her so that she is not stuck with just a plain baked potato all the time. I think I have made her day. I then look up and tell her I am going to share with her one of my favorite sites in the village. We look up and she sees the setting sun hitting the trees. Turns out she is a photographer and the image grabs her. She doesn’t have her real camera with her, but pulls out her phone and in her tipsy state hopes she can get at least a moment of this to hold on to. Derek joins us and we all look up at the glow. I walk her back to her table and wish her well and SAFE journey’s home, as I believe Hook is her ride and he was none too sober.
CONTINUING EDUCATION
I wander through the food court and compliment those who are buying warm food. There are one or two people enjoying frozen drinks or ice cream and I ask them what part of insane they are, can they not feel the cold? They laugh. I share a few more laughs about. I sit with two ladies and their bright-eyed gent. We talk about the day and their favorite parts, what foods I like, and more. I take my leave and visit the soup booth, whom I comment to that they must be popular today. The chill has made everyone want soup. I also take a moment while they are slow to ask them which of their offerings are gluten free, since it is now on my mind. There is a decent selection and one that she has to check, but I don’t have more time to find out.
LET IT GO!
I continue to wander when I suddenly check the time and see I have only 12 minutes to cannon. I rush to the front of the village to join Knuckles and Nymblewyke. There is a girl dressed well as Elsa and Knuckles starts blaming her for the cold. They laugh, then Johnny Armstrong berates Knuckles and tells him to just “let it go”. A drunk gent wanders up and asks us where the after party is since we all must have wild after hours drinking sex parties. We tell him we go home where it’s warm. Sorry to disappoint, but no, there are no wild sex parties, or at least none that I have ever been invited to in this village. The sounds of Wild Mountain Thyme float by from the Gatehouse stage. The Royal Standard is lowered, the cannon booms, and the festival day ends. Knuckles helps me down and off I go wishing Buena notte again.
RESET AND GO
I head backstage and down the hill to change. It’s so bloody cold but with everyone changing at the same time in the costume house, it’s so much warmer, except that my area is by the door so each time it opens or closes, I get another chill. I try not to be missing layers when someone goes out. It is not always successful. I reset my dress for the next week and ask the ladies for their color recommendation. Their choice is a resounding vote for one outfit, which I will wear on Saturday next weekend. A small group decides to head to PF Chang’s for hot soup and tea. One of our gents has lost his wallet and others cover for him to make sure he can enjoy his meal (wallet has been found). Dinner is mostly quiet and amusing. I am very tired, so I am happy to head home and get some rest.
This upcoming weekend is the last one for this season. Something you haven’t seen? Something you haven’t eaten? Something you wanted to do? This is your last chance. Let’s make some magic happen!
FREEZE ANXIETY
We have all been watching the weather forecast over the last few days and have been getting more and more anxious. While some costumes are warm and you can layer, my fairy is a bit on the thinner side. I have multiple layers I am bringing to keep me warm and a few tricks up my sleeve, if need be. I drop off my costumes, pick up a ticket for a friend, and head over to drop of my props down by the cottage. It’s locked so I leave it outside and let the powers that be there know about it. I head home and am luckily able to get some last minute running around done before I get into bed.
AWWWWWAAKKKKKEEEE
So when I wake up, I layer up as I will have to warm up and stretch outside, and outside is rather cold this am. I have my coat on top of some of my warmer clothing and stop for some warm brekkies as well as my bar. Once on site, I see my breath as I am heading in. I am on stage with Dottore who is dressed in the same stuff he wears every morning…I question his sanity in this weather to yoga in a tshirt and light pants with no shoes. I am guessing you are now too. He plans to shivasana in his tent. Isobel arrives and we warm up vocally together. Soon after she leaves, Woolter arrives. He was took the long way here because of the traffic for the Baltimore race and is running late. My make up is almost done. He continues jumping around to keep warm as I head back to the Costume House.
LAYER ON, LAYER OFF
It’s cold, even inside it’s not really “heated” per se, so it's a chore to figure out the way to change, when to take the pre-corset pee, how many layers on or off, coat or no…etc. I begin to get dressed and layer tights, socks, thermal pantaloons, length leg coverings, and my shoes. Above, I have my undertop and a new addition, handwarmer pads placed in a holder and wrapped on my back, then my regular shirt and cincher. This heat keeps my low back warm and prevents my core from tightening up. I pull another 2 pads for my hands to go into my fingerless gloves. I get winged up outside and take my umbrella up the hill. I stop at Roseworld where the energy is always chaotic and drop off my food for the morning. Then, off to morning meeting.
WARMING UP
We go over the standard notes for the weekend and remind each other to keep drinking warm things and expect crowds and work lines and, well, the normal end of season stuff. We BEEP and head to the gate. The hand warmers are starting to take effect, thank goodness. Sitting on the stone isn’t a great idea, so I put my feet on it and stretch my legs and low back as the cold is going to wreak havoc on muscles in the chill. My back is feeling pretty good though. I chat with an Italian (not me) as we are waiting for the King to arrive. Eventually, the court enters. One of the horses seems to have a bit of an attitude problem and picks a fight with his rider. Rider is not amused. The situation is fixed relatively quickly, the horses take off so the cannon can boom. I am up on the fountain with Knuckles as the gates open and the crowd rolls in.
LAST MINUTE PLANNING
There is a huge crowd and people are pouring in. Many are focused on getting in, but others stop to hug, smile or otherwise amuse themselves as they take in the sites and sounds of this very crowded event. I had been trying to figure out how to just get basic copies of the three shows I directed this year, when one of the regulars who likes to film shows comes wandering by. I grab him and ask him if he would be willing to film the StreetSPEARE’s I had directed since I really don’t get to see them. He generously says he will and I point out the times and places for him. Off he goes and I turn back to the onslaught of attendees. I am also greeted by Lady Leah from many weeks back. She has her sister in tow this time and notes she will see me later. Lastly, I see a VERY tall man I have not seen in YEARS. Cyberkender has arrived from CA with a local friend in tow. CK complains that his friend is not in garb…I berate him in fairy. I chitter at them a bit more, which they only sort of follow, then they head into our little village to explore.
PROGRAMS A GOGO
The first wave has mostly died down, so I grab around 3 stacks of programs and head out. I have no time to sit with the crowds as they are and I am walking the lines and separating them as I hand out programs. Once I am done those stacks, I see the single-day ticket cash line has opened and start asking people how they plan on purchasing and sending them over that way. I head back and get another three stacks of programs as people are flowing in pretty quickly. I walk the lines again with programs and once they are gone, begin to move people to the shorter lines. Most are very happy when I move them. Only one woman makes herself a brick and won’t move, but once I point to where I am going, she finally agrees as the new line is significantly shorter. I am in the direct sun here and starting to get warm. I wonder if all the layers and heating pads were too much.
FALL
And then…I walk inside and hit some shade. Oof, the temperature difference is palpable, intense and downright chilly. I am grateful for my layers. It is very crowded, so while I might wave at a performer or say a quick hello, I am out and about with patrons. Hellos, head rubbing, hand shaking and maybe a wish stone or two for a deserving individuals. I take so long getting in, I don’t really have time for my regular tree, so I just head to the boardwalk to sit and sing a bit. On the way, the author with the fairy books checks out my broken wing and commiserates that I haven’t found anyone to fix it yet. Then, sitting and singing. It’s odd that music isn’t coming to me as easily this year. I have some standbys, but I think I am overthinking. When I let instinct take over, there are melodies that work best and I just let them out. I am posing for pics with gents and ladies passing by or little ones come up to say hello. Soon enough, it’s time to get my fairy show on.
QUIET POWER
I head to my props and fill up the bottles of potion I need for the show. I gather my basket and head out, but there is a bit of a crowd at my exit and it takes me getting a trifle louder to get them to notice me and move. At the stage, again, the kids are playing, but clear quickly. There is one little boy who starts to walk on stage as I begin the show, but I turn him and he keeps walking off the stage almost seamlessly. All of my bears have good roars, but in the middle of the show, they get VERY quiet for their lines. Goldilocks is a gent with a good sense of humor who plays along as mom takes many blackmail pics. Once the show is over, I pack up my props and clear the stage for the kids who are hoping to get back in the house for a little bit.
THE 2 STEP PROGRAM
I head up the hill of doom…and stop. The line is almost down the hill. So I begin to chitter and stop every 4-5 people to compliment their face paint, their clothes, play with them, introduce myself or whatever hits my fancy. Only one or two kids are shy or scared of me. Most are happy to make conversation. At the top of the hills, there is a privy line. I head in and knock on doors, when I don’t hear anything, I open it and wave the next person in. it takes 2-3 minutes, but the line that was starting is gone and I head on farther into the village and lunch. Next, the beer lines. I briefly chitter at a few near the long White Hart line, but they are near the smoking area and I can’t breath much around it. The line near O’Shucks is massive as well, both sides, and I spend a couple minutes there as well. Finally, I grab my lunch and some water and rush out again as I won’t have much time to eat.
THE LAST OF ITS KIND
So each lunch I have had a honey cake, some green vege, baby tomatoes, mixed nuts (sans last weekend), and some fruit. Today is the last of the first batch of honey cakes I made before opening. I had been keeping them in my freezer and defrosting a new couple each weekend. This is the last honey cake. I relish it, quickly. It almost seems more moist than the other cakes I had. Perhaps it had more honey goodness. While eating my meal, I see a friendly face at Blessed Scents who is giving me a countdown of the days till Christmas. It makes me laugh. I am also smiling at patrons. You think when no one is approaching you, you aren’t affecting people, until I catch the eye of three young girls who I realize have been staring at me. I smile and wave and they do too, then scurry off giddy. This is a good thing.
MORE LINES
Lunch is a short affair and I drop off a few nuts and a blackberry, dust out my bowl and head down the road toward the boardwalk. Hilby has a great crowd and it’s hard to get through. Then, more lines. The beer lines are not as long as the turkey leg lines, but they aren’t short. It’s somewhat daunting. I do try to stop by and chitter at a few and make them laugh. It makes the experience less painful if you are having fun during the wait. I find a gent and rub his head. He is surprised and amused. I smile as that is such a fun sensation. Don’t get me wrong, I love hair and prefer it, but if they don’t have much, that length makes me happy to rub. Where fairy and human actor meet.
WOLFING IT DOWN
I have maybe a minute or two to sing before I have to go and change out my umbrella for props. I “uh-oh” my way around the crowd and through the juggling school until I can get to the stage. There is already a good bit of an audience, some because they wanted to be in the house, others for the show. I get them all to sing making sure THEY ALL DO since I need everyone to buy into the experience for it to work. I often make one person sing along if they haven’t been joining in. I see Lady Leah and her sister from his morning standing at the back of the house. They stay for the whole show, for which I am rather touched. The wolf has a good howl, but some of my pigs are distracted. One wants to dance and be her own star in her own show. One kid asks me as I am drinking the last of the potion why I do it if it tastes so bad. I quickly explain it’s the only way I can talk to them before it all goes away again. The house is pretty packed and everyone has a really nice time. But it is time to pack up and head on my way.
MORE LINES A GOGO
I repack my props for the morning and as I am finishing, I hear what sounds like drizzle. I have my umbrella, but as I head up the hill, I see a flood of dejected kids. Turns out with the rain, light as it was, they had to close the slide. That line clear, I head up and hit the beer lines again as I am heading back. I chat with patrons and pose for a few pictures along the way. It takes longer than normal to get back and one of the other actors comments she was wondering where I was as I am normally back changing before this. I know I am now seriously behind the time and start the transition to courtesan. Today is the green and purple outfit. The regular people come in and out as they normally do grabbing more layers and taking cloaks with them over their costumes so they don’t chill when stuck backstage. I am half dressed when I realize I have forgotten under layers and have to add more before I can finish adding the rest of my costuming…the jewelry is painfully cold though. Once on, it begins to warm up, thank goodness. Finally, it’s time to head out toward the Boar’s Head.
CHANGES AND LOGISTICS
I stop and chat with people on the way, but, with the delay, I am concerned about the time and try to make sure I can get to the stage in time not to hold SMKatherine up. I end up there a couple minutes early and start to plug items in in advance of her arrival. When she gets there, she helps me set up my sign and the new magneted 13, but the wind is pretty busy and with enough flicking, it falls off early into the show. I begin to circle around and do my kid check, but notice a number of smokers on this side. I redirect them to the actual smoking area at the far end of the pub. They are all very nice about it. The show before mine runs longer than normal, so I am starting a bit later with my PG warning. and other “pre-show” announcements. There is one group who has decided that they want to watch the show from my back end. I suggest that the view might be better from the front, which the audience agrees to, but they want to be their own show. The show is odd, I find myself switching lyrics and repeating the wrong verse for Three Jolly Coachmen, which I know well. A little kid starts up on the stage and I have to move him out. In the middle of my bit with my client, who is a friend of CK’s, I have a patron walk in front of the stage on his phone and as loud as he can and as drunk as he can, yell into the phone that he can’t hear and where is he now. All of these odd distractions and other time adders make me run over by a couple minutes, which means the act after mine starts playing while I am still singing the end of my last song. My fault for running over, but it doesn’t make it easier. While not a bad show, it was not my favorite for the cluster F reasons.
THANKS AND FAREWELLS
I clear up and there are a few patrons who stop to see me. One lady thanks me for all the years of entertainment. I am confused and say that surely she can come back again. She informs me she is moving to the Caribbean and this is her last day at fest. I am honored that she shared it with me for even a little while. I meet up with a few other patrons and friends and let them know I am off to drop off props and mark off space for a show. I head toward the costume house saying hi to Fud and the others along the way, patrons and vendors, etc. I see SMKatherine staring to get markers and head down the hill to drop off things and get my layers to keep warm as the sun starts to drop. I grab water and head out.
WHEN THE CAMERA IS WATCHING
The gent who has offered his assistance is setting up the cameras based on where the actors are hawking, which is not where they do the show. I move him to the correct spot and SMK moves the block closer to the performance space. This is new for the actors as they have had all the space the wanted before, but this thinner depth helps the audience focus in and hear them. Unfortunately, this throws one of the actors and the first line of the scene is not what Mr. Shakespeare wrote. My thought is “hm, how are they going to get this back on track” followed by “oh, and this is my permanent copy…joy”. They cover it well and unless you knew the scene, you wouldn’t have known there was an issue. It’s always the one on camera or with the boss watching.
DOING IT IN STYLE
Once the scene is done, I say my goodbyes and talk with the gent to see if he can help me get a copy of my other shows for my records. He checks the times and is set. Next, I head farther into the village. I am rather hungry and don’t have my bowl, so I stop at the food booths (which have no lines now) and get a sausage on a stick. I wander about the food court tables and chat with patrons as I eat. I stop at one table with a family all in costume. After chatting, I realize they have never been here before, but the mom had always wanted to and she determined that they had to do it in style, so they were all in costumes she made. I was impressed. The one son wants to try to desperately explain how video games are not sorcery or magic. Hayes wanders by and I ask him to try to translate what this little one is determined to tell me. He starts off well, but when he mentions some kind of sorcery, the kid gets angry and tells us we are wrong, there is no magic, even though his brother, Hayes and I all believe it is. Finally, I say my goodbyes and head down Kenwood.
THERE WAS NOSTALGIA
I stop briefly and stare at the trees for my favorite time of day near the food court. When the sun is near the horizon, the color starts to turn a golden red and hits the trees so they light up. Not all the leaves do this, so you have lines of greens and lines of glowing gold. It’s one of my most favorite views in the entire village. I meet a lady who has been attending the village for longer than I have been performing, but she started around the time I started as a vendor. I mention the first stage show I did, and she remembers it and her face lights up when she realizes it. We talk of Bill, the Pyrates, Tim, Pub Sing, Sept 11, the children of those we knew who are now the new generation (including Ichabod and his sister), and I share my leaves with her. Cindy P wanders by and we all catch up, as Cindy owned PU way back then as well. The chill makes us all wax nostalgic.
AND THEN THERE WAS DRUNK
I realize how late it is and head quickly to the front of the village. The cold has placed a false sense of hydration in everyone and patrons are VERY drunk. I am up on the fountain and we are doing our normal goodbyes when a drunk man drops his cigarette on the ground in the dry hay…and it’s lit. I tell him he needs to step on it and put it out. His reply “Yeah, let the mother F-er Burn!” I ask him if he wants me to call security. He thinks this is funny until Knuckles tells him I am not joking. He gets morose and picks up his cigarette, happily announcing it’s still lit. Duh. Then he starts smoking it and blowing it in our direction (generically, not purposefully). We tell him he needs to put it out as there is no smoking in this part of the village, if he wants to keep smoking, he needs to go outside. He continues to puff it until it’s just about gone, but still lit, and throws it into the trashcan with all the leftover alcohol and again calls to “let the Mother F-er Burn”. He leaves and Knuckles jumps down to throw soda over the butt so the village won’t go up in flames. I really hope that guy got pulled over for being stupid and drunk. I don’t want him hurting anyone else, but I have no happy thoughts for that kinds of rudeness and disregard for our home. My mood is rather soured.
NORMALCY
I hear strains of Wild Mountain Thyme and soon the royal standard, now lit for visibility as it drops, makes its way back to Joan and the cannon booms. The cold makes this a two hands down day and Knuckles kindly assists me. I wish Buena notte to those I pass as I leave the village and head down the hill once more. The costume house is warm with everyone changing. THANK GOODNESS. I lose an earring backing and find it, then drop and pick up more things. My fingers, while cold, are still swollen enough that it’s not easy to get the rings off and I have to get my hand wet outside. BRRRRR. Once changed, I meet up with the gents I had plans with and we head out for cheeseburgers. It’s a quiet dinner with heartfelt conversation and much exhaustion. I am honored to call them friends. And with only 3 of us, dinner is a faster affair. I am home and in bed by 10 pm.
FROZEN
The morning is 32 degrees when I am up, dressed and ready to head to site. I get to my car and it has frost on it. I turn up the defrost to high and run the windshield wipers as I am falling behind schedule. I have water and my bars, so I don’t have to stop on the way. I get to site and see no puppy in the lot, but am not surprised with the temps. I head in and see no Dottore either. I am not surprised given how little he was wearing the day before. You don’t want to do Yoga outside in this kind of cold barefoot. Just no. I do, but I am layered. Others who arrive (Isobel, WScrubby and Woolter) are all jumping about to keep warm and even I am doing yoga stretches more standing and with no arms (hands stay in my pockets). I have to sit to put on my makeup though, so I put what I can below me to keep the chill from the wood from making my life hell. I make up and my hair is decidedly silly. Woolter helps me spray it so it will stay. It stays up longer than most days, but not all day long.
HEATED HELPING HANDS
I get to the costume house and head inside. A musician arrives and asks if anyone has any hand warmers. As a matter of fact I do. She gets some from me and gifts me with a cd as a thank you. Others are partaking of the box (thanks Winchester for pointing them out to me 3 years ago). I place them on my back again today as that made such a difference yesterday. I also get two ready for my hands. As I go to wing up, I notice that my “Good” wing is getting floppy. I can’t do anything about it now, but I figure a way to make it stay up a little better for now. I grab my things and all my layers and head out to rose world. There, I drop off my things and head to Lyric. I speak with the one singer I never got to work with and we have agreed that, sadly, the songs will not happen this season. Morning meeting is brisk, mostly from the temp. We are informed one actor is back out ill and the miracle stand in is ready to help out again. A few more announcements, we BEEP and away we go.
LAST MINUTES I take a moment to “sunbathe” in the maypole area as the warmth of the sun is revitalizing. I realize as I pull out my ringlets that I hadn’t put on my earrings (one backing was missing, so I had waited). I head down the hill quickly to remedy this, then up to use the privy quickly and to the gate as the show is starting. Horses come in and that same one is acting up, but less than the day before, so he is ready to go a bit faster and off they trot, up I go, and BOOM! The day begins.
OVERFLOW OR EVERFLOW
Again, the crowd coming in is big. They are mostly bundled up in their coats, or furs, or other warm items. A few are not covered and I worry for their sanity and their health. All three of us are there, but Johnny is popular, so it takes time before we are able to do a tour. I see faces of friends visiting and little kids and bundled regulars. Eventually, the crowd finishes rushing in and I see lines outside. I grab 3 stacks of programs and hit the lines. It is much the same pattern as yesterday, separate and hand out programs at the same time. Once empty, move people over with cash and manually walk people standing in long lines out of the long ones and into short ones. I go through a total of about 11 stacks of programs by the time I am done. Lines aren’t awful, but they are constant. I have some time to say hello to patrons and one woman keeps asking me what I mean by Pohgam. Oh Program, why didn’t you say so! Yeah lady, that's as much English as you are going to get from me. Everyone else gets it, just play along. Sorry, inner monologue…she didn’t hear any of that. I just looked at her confused.
MOVING INWARD
While the lines are constant they aren’t awful and I am able to head inside just a little after regular time. This means I have some time to chitter and play along my route. I rub a head or two, chitter some and giggle, sunbathe again near O’Shucks, and head over to my tree to sing a little after getting some water. It’s Sunday, so it’s Amazing Grace day. My voice is very forward in my head and when I hit the higher notes, I feel my entire head vibrate like an echo chamber and almost make me dizzy. It’s really kinda cool.
PHOTOSYNTHESIS
Sitting in the shade is chilly so I head down the hill of doom and head toward the boardwalk. The sun has come out, so I stop at the sunny edge of the boardwalk, turn toward it, hold out my arms, close my eyes and soak up the heat. I hear someone comment as I am standing there “She’s a plant, it’s photosynthesis”. This makes me chuckle. I stand there for a good minute or so and as I feel the sun go behind a cloud, I find my bench perch to sing. I have a bunch of people ask for pics. I sing a bit, but I find my brain distracted, it could be the chill. The sun comes back out and I head back to it to warm myself again. I am joined by a cantankerous staff member of Holy Cow who suns himself wearing a Half Moon and doesn’t feel the warm. I do and it makes such a difference. I head over to get my props and take them to the Crooked Cottage.
THE BEARDED MAN
I start with a small crowd and the cameras today. Of course I have a smaller house when I am filming, I think; however, as we begin, more kids come pouring in and by the time we get going, the house is full. Goldilocks is a gent who was in the house from the beginning, and when I ask everyone if they know the story, he looks at me a bit panicked and says he doesn’t. Luckily, the rest of the people assure him they know it and can help, and away we go. He is quite playful and the pigs know their lines pretty well, if a bit quiet. The show ends well with applause for my stars and I clean up as quickly as I can and hand the stage over to the next act. I head back to reset my props for the next show then up the hill of Doom.
STONING THE LINE
There is a long line down the hill again and I begin to chitter and play with them as I walk up. I see a family and one boy doesn’t want to talk to me, but his brother is playful and curious. I get his name and offer him a stone. The first kid wants to have one now and asks, but I apologize that I don’t have another. I can’t afford the time to give one to everyone in line and realized giving the one out was a risk, but the kid had such a good energy about him. I feel badly. Up the hill I go and head through the lines to roseworld. Luckily, the beer and other lines aren’t quite as long, so I do have some time to chitter at a few people along the way. I head backstage and grab my food. I have noticed that my wing is drooping again and flip it forward in hopes it will stay up now. It’s odd to feel it bouncing as I walk.
MUNCHING TO A DIFFERENT DRUMMER
I sit down at the frog pond and begin to eat quickly. I don’t always compartmentalize my food, but I eat all the celery, then all the tomatoes, then the nuts then the…well, you get the picture. I am not even sure why, It just feels right. At the end, there are a few nuts and a blackberry that are gifted to Blessed Scents. I head through HIlby’s crowd to more lines for beer and turkey. I rub a head and make the women behind him laugh, I hug a stranger and place my umbrella over a guys head as he walks for a while not realizing I am following him. I stop and sing a little bit, then head to get my props for the second show.
AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING
So there is a full house again with a few friends off to the side of the stage. I have some great pigs with an adultish (read teen) wolf who really doesn’t seem to want to commit. Pig # 3 was pretty fabulous though and with a little coaching they all know their lines. Actually, pig one is about to say her line when the audience tries to say it for her. I have to shush them so she can have her chance for success on her own, and she does a great job. Pig #2 takes her role very seriously and keeps poking at her box and not paying attention. The wolf gets a little better as we go on and walks herself into the cauldron. Even the Kosher joke works. After the show is over, I pack up and spend a brief moment chatting with a few from the audience, even one or two now costumed who weren’t before. I say my “abadoo”s and head off to reset my props for next week, leaving the potion bottles empty to avoid the floaty monsters. I notice there is not quite enough potion for the next weekend, so I note that I have to pick up more during the week.
UP UP AND AWAY
Up the hill of doom I go, this time chittering again as I move up the line. I get into a long conversation with two young girls who are trying to figure out why I can’t fly and are laughing at my tale of running into a tree. I wander off with them giggling behind me. I head through the village playing and being silly on the way back, saying hello and waiving as I go, stopping or a photo or a photobomb as head back. Once back, I hang up my wings and de-cinch before I head out in the chill to pee. Bleah. Back in and I fix my hair and clean off my face then relayer into the bright blues today. Again, I layer up as best as I can with thermals under the chemise and similar layers under the pantaloons. The heat pads are still holding out and keeping me warm. I donate one of my hand warmers to a lady whose fingers are chilled. There is enough heat for her to thaw a little. Once bedecked and bejeweled, I head out to the Boar’s Head.
FLIRTATION 101
I head across site slowly stopping and chatting on the way. I meet a family, groups of adults, and more. Conversation varies but often doesn’t even mention my show other than to say it is not appropriate for their kids. Once at the stage, I mic up with SMK then hit the crowds. It’s so cold that there really aren’t any kids left. I saw them pouring out as I was heading in. I have a decent crowd with some who planned to come just for my show and others who just like naughty songs. I am having fun and Hamlet ends at 2:27. Not my best time, but still very good. I get a charming client, Randy, who is playful. After the show, the gent helping me out notes that he wasn’t sure how the guy was going to work out, but he was a lot of fun. He comments, I should have known you know what you are doing. I stay a few moments after and am thanked by a group of the attendees who come up to tell me how much fun they had. Another young lady tells me my show reminds her of the fun she had years ago watching the Bawdy Balladeers shows. Very high praise indeed.
SPARKLING CAREFULLY
As I head back, I stop in conversation with 2 brothers and their mother joins us. We begin to speak of jewels and I ask the one gent to hold my box so I can de-glove. Once I show mom what things are, I look back to see the gent has opened the box and is looking through. While I don’t mind someone wanting to see the CD’s, this makes me VERY nervous as I have a credit card scanner and some change in there. Once I take my leave, I stop at a vendor friend and ask him to hold the other things so I can check out the box to make sure nothing is missing.
YES YOU CAN
I head back to the costume house to drop off the box and get some more water and my warmer gloves. I head back up the hill and see JamesB. I let him know that if he stays for another 3 minutes, he will be able to see some Shakespeare that I directed. He and his lady sit and stay along with the daughter that started the conversation. There is a nice little gathering as they start and, well, people watching make more people stop and watch. By the time the scene is done, there is some nice laughter and applause for their efforts. This makes me happy. Afterwards, I am speaking to WScrubby and ask how he is holding up in the cold and realize he is just wearing his thin cotton shirt. I ask him why he hasn’t layered and he tells me it might show. I reply that a white thermal shirt won’t show up and will keep him from freezing. “we can do that?” Sigh, yes, they don’t want you to freeze to death. Now we tell him he complains. I ask him if he’s going to get his cloak after this and he heads off to get warm.
HOOKED
I wander to O’Shucks to chat with patrons at the tables. I meet up with Kevin and his fiancé and their friends celebrating his birthday. I pose for a pic and make them laugh. I move to another group and discover I am now talking to Kevin’s sister, and Kevin appears again. I tell you, this birthday boy is everywhere. I wander to another table and meet a charming lady, Megan, her gent and their friend, Hook/Thing/Mike, whichever name he follows at the time. He is very in his cups, but has his charm. We discover he is better at conversation when I cover my cleavage with my muppet scarf (it looks like I killed Harry). He is trying to explain something to me that I just am not getting. Eventually he wanders away to better prospects.
FOOD KNOWLEDGE
I stay and chat with Megan and the conversation turns to food. It turns out she is gluten free and I share with her what I have learned over the years and I have a few places I direct her so that she is not stuck with just a plain baked potato all the time. I think I have made her day. I then look up and tell her I am going to share with her one of my favorite sites in the village. We look up and she sees the setting sun hitting the trees. Turns out she is a photographer and the image grabs her. She doesn’t have her real camera with her, but pulls out her phone and in her tipsy state hopes she can get at least a moment of this to hold on to. Derek joins us and we all look up at the glow. I walk her back to her table and wish her well and SAFE journey’s home, as I believe Hook is her ride and he was none too sober.
CONTINUING EDUCATION
I wander through the food court and compliment those who are buying warm food. There are one or two people enjoying frozen drinks or ice cream and I ask them what part of insane they are, can they not feel the cold? They laugh. I share a few more laughs about. I sit with two ladies and their bright-eyed gent. We talk about the day and their favorite parts, what foods I like, and more. I take my leave and visit the soup booth, whom I comment to that they must be popular today. The chill has made everyone want soup. I also take a moment while they are slow to ask them which of their offerings are gluten free, since it is now on my mind. There is a decent selection and one that she has to check, but I don’t have more time to find out.
LET IT GO!
I continue to wander when I suddenly check the time and see I have only 12 minutes to cannon. I rush to the front of the village to join Knuckles and Nymblewyke. There is a girl dressed well as Elsa and Knuckles starts blaming her for the cold. They laugh, then Johnny Armstrong berates Knuckles and tells him to just “let it go”. A drunk gent wanders up and asks us where the after party is since we all must have wild after hours drinking sex parties. We tell him we go home where it’s warm. Sorry to disappoint, but no, there are no wild sex parties, or at least none that I have ever been invited to in this village. The sounds of Wild Mountain Thyme float by from the Gatehouse stage. The Royal Standard is lowered, the cannon booms, and the festival day ends. Knuckles helps me down and off I go wishing Buena notte again.
RESET AND GO
I head backstage and down the hill to change. It’s so bloody cold but with everyone changing at the same time in the costume house, it’s so much warmer, except that my area is by the door so each time it opens or closes, I get another chill. I try not to be missing layers when someone goes out. It is not always successful. I reset my dress for the next week and ask the ladies for their color recommendation. Their choice is a resounding vote for one outfit, which I will wear on Saturday next weekend. A small group decides to head to PF Chang’s for hot soup and tea. One of our gents has lost his wallet and others cover for him to make sure he can enjoy his meal (wallet has been found). Dinner is mostly quiet and amusing. I am very tired, so I am happy to head home and get some rest.
This upcoming weekend is the last one for this season. Something you haven’t seen? Something you haven’t eaten? Something you wanted to do? This is your last chance. Let’s make some magic happen!